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Naughty Death Knights – a recycled post for Earth Day

April 22, 2010

Zelmaru of Murloc Parliament has an idea to celebrate Earth Day – recycle a post!  This is a post from May 26, 2009 – I chose it to repost because more often than not, people miss some of the interesting/funny stuff you can find in books around Azeroth.

Up until this weekend, I had never played a Death Knight through the whole chain of quests and made it to 58.

In the last month, I had two forays into the darkest class in Warcraft: once on my own as a Blood Elf (didn’t even see 56) and once as a Gnome (she saw 56 at least, but only 56) with Grimtorn as my escort. It was a late, late night idea, so it got cut short – sleep sounded better than slaughtering more Scarlet Crusade – call us crazy.

My inability to settle on a “main alt” has had me jumping all over the place for the last several weeks – apparently I need to have a “project” otherwise I lose my mind. I got it in my mind (again) that I wanted to play a Dwarf and after much hemming and hawing, I re-created a months-old idea in the form of my female Dwarf Death Knight. I set a goal for myself – this time, I would make it through the quest line.

Like a good little killing machine, I ran over to forge my runeblade as Instructor Razuvious would have me do. However, after having forged my blade, I got distracted upon seeing a book labeled “Death Knights of Archerus” – it was just calling out to be read!

There was even a page for me! Apparently I am lacking a bit though…

There were other interesting reads scattered about near Highlord Darion Mograine, such as “One Truth of Undeath” and “Account of the Raising of a Frost Wyrm”.  As I happened upon “Touch of the Banshee” I expected similar material – something all good Death Knights would need to know.

However! It’s quite the interesting read (and yes, finally, here is the reason for the enticing title of this post) – I have the text here for your perusal:

Skor’zad nervously peered around the corner of the column. As he has planned, he saw her floating there, alone in her chamber. Had he made the right decision, visiting the banshee’s private chamber so late at night? The necromancers would surely put him back into the ground if he was discovered. What’s worse, he didn’t even know if his feelings were requited, and Madame Sidnari was known for her short temper.

What few doubts the zombie had were quickly tossed aside once he caught a full glimpse of her beauty. Her distinctly elven features – a reminder of her form in a past life – were now only enhanced by the oozing wounds and scabs that dotted her face. Purple, almost translucent skin was frugally covered by necrotic wrappings that hugged her waifish figure. Cold flesh neatly fused with the ephemeral as her legless torso sat upon a bluish sphere of energy, drifting a few inches above the cold granite floor. Skor’zad allowed himself to relax a bit and wiped the sweat and ichor that dripped alternatingly from his prominent brow.

Seemingly unaware of his presence, she glided to the only window in the room and looked out upon the battlefield. Desolation stretched out before her. Not six hours ago has the shrill cries of human children pierced the air, but now… only the sweet silence of death.

The wind caught her hair now, playfully flipping the worm-like tangles around her hollowed-out eye sockets. Skor’zad, suddenly aware that he was leaning forward with lust, shrank back behind the column, terrified that the Dark Wailer might have seen him. She had indeed seen him – but he had no reason to fear.

“Skor’zad,” she said. “I’ve been waiting for you. You fought well today.” The banshee glanced coyly over her rotting right soldier, allowing her wrappings to loosen ever so slightly. “It’s time you… collected your reward.”

<The next few pages seem to be stuck together.>

And, in the spirit of naughtiness, may I also draw your attention to the second comic on this page – images NSFWRilgon, has this ever happened to you?

4 Comments leave one →
  1. April 22, 2010 2:53 PM

    Hahaha oh my gosh. I have no words. Great post to share! (re-share?)

  2. April 22, 2010 3:10 PM

    Haha I remember those books <3

  3. April 22, 2010 4:14 PM

    Oh, that is just too funny! Not all that long ago, I was looking through the guild bank and noticed that there was a copy of each of the smutty books that rogues can get through pick-pocketing. I asked when the bank had become a soft porn library, just joking, and then found that they really had been collected and put in there for various people to read them since they’d never had the, er, pleasure. I will have to tell those same people to check either this post or that book out!

  4. April 27, 2010 1:43 AM

    I think it’s worth playing through Acherus at least once JUST for the ability to read all the books! I love the in-game books, so as soon as I discovered readable books in Acherus, I ran around reading all of them that I could find. My favorites were the series about the level 60 dungeons, including Naxx40, falling prey to adventurers — I enjoy it when the creators of a world can poke fun at the loopholes and plotholes of their own creations.

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